2 months

Today is 2 months since my Dad passed.

In 2 months I have:
-worked until I was so exhausted I couldn't make the memorial service
-spent a weekend in Tahoe at one of my closest friends wedding (1 week after my Dad's passing)
-had my father buried at the National Cemetery in Dixon
-started mountain biking again
-spent a week in Moab with 7 of my closest friends
-gained 5 lbs
-started running again
-had my aunt (my father's youngest sister) put on hospice
-started taking more time off for field trips with the kids
-had an estate sale and sold or donated 65% of my fathers and grandparents household furnishings
-had too much to drink on occasion
-visited the gravesite with Dylan and Mike
-taken a day off just to cope and catch up
-had my first dream with my father in it - talking to me and asking for help with something
-enjoyed myself at a party
-sat for countless hours in the backyard - just thinking
-missed him desperately
-learned that there is no timeframe for healing
-gotten much closer to my Aunt
-learned that grief and healing can also be a gift that will change me for the better
-spoken to a friend that I have been out of touch with for too long
-learned that whether I am checked in or checked out that life is going on around me. My kids are still going to school, our bikeshop is still needing attention, my house still needs to be cleaned, my body still needs exercise.

It is time for me to stop excusing unhealthy behaviors under the guise of grief. Yes, there is certainly a time when it was all I did to get through a day, but now I am getting through the day. I can focus on my kids, husband, house, job, self or just the task at hand. My days have moved from "okay" to "good".

I am still stalling on some of the "business" items that I need to complete in order to settle my Dad's affairs. I am getting closer though...

Anyway, for those who are reading, who care - I am doing good. Good is better than okay.