6 months

Well, life keeps moving on, doesn't it? March 12th marked the 6 month anniversary of my father's passing. We have rented out my father's house. It is difficult to picture someone else living there, but I think it would be even more difficult to sell it and feel like it to is gone. I know a house isn't a person, but it just seems like in the last 6 months so much "life liquidation" has gone on...

It feels odd to do a race, go to a kids play or just have a good day and not call him and tell him about it. I am beginning to think that the feeling doesn't go away. The feeling of not being able to share an experience with him becomes part of the experience now. I did my first marathon in February without being able to call him. Ironically the marathon was in Huntington Beach, Surf City USA. My Dad grew up surfing in So Cal and Hawaii, the medals from the race even had little surfboards on them, talk about symbolic. This weekend I'll go to my first 8 hour race of the season without him. After the race I won' be able to call him and give him the race report...I guess I'll have to believe that he has a front row seat. I wonder if all my accomplishments will be somewhat bittersweet?

On a different note - I have a CT scan tonight. I had some weird episode again. Actually very similar to the dry heave/abdominal pain that I had the day of my Dad's funeral. Nothing was found in the ER. An ultrasound for gall stones revealed a mass on my liver - no gall stones though. Docs don't seem to worried, but a CT scan will rule out anything serious. I'm sure it is nothing as well. The only long term effect has been a very strange loss of appetite. My doc said I could wait 6 months and see if the mass is stable or do the CT scan now. That would be a long six months! I'm sure it will all be fine and my appetite will come back soon.