Well, I got to my Dad's house about 2 hours ago. Things aren't looking too good. When I left on Tuesday night he was still able to walk around a bit, he even came downstairs...now not so much. He is having difficulty sitting up, standing and walking. He requires quite a bit more assistance. Since he really hasn't eaten in about 7 days his body is shutting down.
I feel a bit helpless. I want to be able to help him, but sometimes I am not even sure what to do. I help him get up, lay down and shift positions, but I am also afraid I might hurt him.
Stand up 2 Cancer is on right now. I watched a bit of it. It is too difficult to watch right now. Typically it pisses me off when people say they don't want to help someone or see someone because it is too difficult for them. If you ever cared for that person then you have to realize that that time you spend with them at the end isn't about you. It is about them. If I hear one more person say "I didn't want to see him that way, I wanted to remember him the way he was when he was healthy" I think I will punch them. I haven't heard this a whole lot with my Dad, but just generally I hear folks say it. I think it is cowardice. Trade places with that person just for a moment - it might be easier to see what is right and wrong from their perspective. Well, that was a random unplanned rant. Oh wait, I know where that was going. It is too difficult for me to watch Stand up 2 Cancer, but I am giving myself a pass on this one.
I think I better go get some rest. Rumor has it that Dad has become nocturnal so I may have a long night ahead of me.
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