September 12th

My Dad passed away on September 12.

I was planning to go to my Dad's Friday afternoon. Hospice called at 12:30 on Thursday and said they thought I should come right away. I took a 2:30 flight. When I got to his house on Thursday I was surprised at the state he was in. I had just left on Monday and at that time he was still interacting, drinking water, drinking ginger ale, he even danced a bit to some of his favorite music - okay moved his shoulders to the beat while laying in bed. When I got there Thursday around 5:30 he was no longer responsive and struggling to breathe. His body was shutting down fast. I sat with him and talked to him, held his hand, gave him pain madication and basically just tried to make sure he was comfortable. I went to bed around 11. I checked on him and stayed with him from 3-3:30. I checked on him again at 5 and he was gone. I know he knew he was not alone in his house. I don't think he wanted to pass in front of me. When I went to bed at 3:30 I told him I loved him and that I was going to rest. I told him that he should rest too. I am glad he isn't struggling anymore, but my heart aches I miss him so much already.

I can't really type anymore. I don't really think I want to think about it anymore right now.