Monday morning

I am leaving this morning after spending the weekend with my Dad. It has been mentally and emotionally exhausting for quite some time, although now it is also physically pretty tough too. He is really not able to move himself. He is not able to go from laying down to sitting up, sitting to standing or reverse. I don't mind assisting him, it is just one more step closer and it is difficult to watch him struggle to try to move himself. Of course if he would use the hospital bed it might be a bit easier. Stubborn ol' guy.

I had a thought at about 2 in the morning on Friday while I was assisting my Dad. Perhaps this is going to come out wrong when I type it, but I wanted to try to get it down. Dying should be more dignified. It is cruel that after we have lived our lives that we are reduced down to needing assistance for the most basic of needs. There should be some kind of glory at the end. Whether you die young or old, if you are at a point when it is inevitable it would be nice to go out on top, rather than have ones body deteriorate around you. It is the physical part that I am referring to...I just wish there was more...dignity.

I also think it is important as a society that do more to teach younger generations to respect and revere the elderly and to not fear dying. I know that is a pretty tough sell. I guess the reason I think this is that as I am moving through this with my Dad I am trying to find peace with the process. Obviously I don't want him to go and I will miss him dearly, but what is more important right now is that he is cared for, loved and honored. As I try to accept this I feel I can do a better job in caring for him. As is the case for any person in his position it is his needs now and the rest of us that ever claimed to care need to step up and step in to help. If we teach our children that this is what we do - without question - then I think we will raise a generation that will be better equipped to honor and treat with dignity their loved ones.

Well...guess I am feeling a little preachy this morning. It's been a long tough weekend.